The Beauty Meme

When are we going to realise that we are not only being conned by supernaturalists but also by people who want to make money from exploiting human weaknesses?

Let's take, for instance, the beauty industry. How many strands do you think there are which take advantage of us?

I was reading an old edition of Essence magazine (January 2008) and they featured an article about 'Ageless Beauties - Special'. They showed a number of black women ranging in age from 34 to 72. I flicked through the magazine feeling a sense of pointlessness to it all. The women were all made over within an inch of their lives. Their hairstyles were all coiffed and primped, make-up done just so and paraded in shoes and clothes which cost an arm and a leg when put together.

Here's the byline from the piece:

''...we celebrate 13 (from more than 5,000 applicants) phenomenal women. Let their radiant skin, killer bodies, timeless wisdom and generous spirits inspire the ageless beauty in you.''

The article then outlines how these women have 'achieved' their looks and in the main they credited this to 'God'. They encouraged people to be focused on praising God, giving their life over to God, etc.

How can we hope to raise children to enjoy life, be themselves, forge their own paths, love themselves for who they are when we constantly push, from all angles, that they are not good enough and they should watch what other people do? I have a dream that one day people won't give a damn about who is wearing what, whether someone looks old or young or is abled-bodied or disabled, gay or straight, fat or thin, their race or anything else that is in the category of the superficial.

You notice that there appears to be a campaign against women thinking for themselves. Women are targeted so overtly to conform to a standard. Note how many programmes are on television advising people how to get dates or 'dump the frump' and everyone is put through a make-over mill and comes out looking like Stepford Wife clones. No emphasis on individuality. You will conform or be condemned. Some presenters even try to conjure up the most vile description of the 'before' victims and gush and praise their handiwork after viewing the 'after' make-over.

I have created an environment where I don't care about how I look. Of course, I have my favourite items, feel more comfortable in this item of clothing than that - but quite honestly, I would rather read a good book, blog, go for a long walk, talk to friends and family, help a neighbours child to read, meditate, potter in the garden pulling out roots - filling my nails with dirt and doing a thousand other things than spend too much time and money worrying and considering how I look. What is the point? If someone doesn't like me as I am then I choose not to make that my problem. Why would I want to look younger? When did this youth-obsession seep into our cultures?

I see the so called 'stars' who have teeth straightened, rhinoplasty, breast augmentation, face lifts, brow lifts, liposuction and many other 'enhancing treatments' - and they have access to the best photographers, make-up artists, designers and such. They receive free items from producers of high-end products and act as walking advertisements. Being photographed by the tipped off paparazzi, magazines, newspapers at glossy functions helps to feed inadequacy and fattens the bank balances of the haves.

Why do we place so much emphasis on how we look? Who does it benefit? I don't think it benefits me. Clothes are to keep me warm or to cover certain parts that will prevent me from being arrested!

No, I am not interested in paying to have my eyebrows plucked, artificial nails applied every two weeks, my legs waxed, traipsing the shops each weekend maxing out my credit card, perusing the magazines for the latest trends or anything like that.

I'm not interested in being sheep and following the crowd because that is a sure sign I am not living my life for me. This one life that could end at any moment. This one life where following my dreams means being myself.

So to all those women featured in Essence, I have a message for you: Sack the gods and reclaim your life - regardless of how you look.

Where Do We Go From Here?

I have been having a bit of a ding-dong with a group of African-American women on the net who seem so obsessed by race. Having been there I can honestly say it is not the healthiest route that black people can take. Of course, I don't understand everything about the American culture, nor can I really understand what it must be like to live in a society where you are defined by your race and gender so overtly as in the US.

But...I know that the way to make changes within any society is to make changes within yourself first. Attacking those who you deem to be attacking you may be the way to go until things calm down. I want black people to get smarter in terms of asking some questions before we dive in fists flying: What? Why? Where? When? Which? and How?

If we strategise, mobilise, cogitate, support, and educate with a cool head those changes which are necessary will materialise quicker than we think. Although that is not to say if someone is being physically attacked by ignorant people based on the victim's race that we should stand idly by and let it happen. No. Again whilst dealing with any issue or problem we should still keep a cool head.Whilst trying to move a woman out of a dangerous situation we should still keep a cool head. Whilst wiping dog shit off the mat - posted as a 'loving' gift from the local non-vocal racist neighbour' we should still keep a cool head. We should be cool.

Because only those who make a stand and think will succeed. Why waste energy raising your blood pressure, damaging your vital organs and enabling others to set your agenda and then nothing changes?

I now know that people are sheep and they think what they have been taught to think - hence religions. People are primarily sheep. If you go along to a meeting where everyone is having a 'love fest', basically there to be told how wonderful they are and you are the sole dissenting voice - see how many will support you, even though you are raising issues which are difficult and especially if you are focusing on the bigger picture. Answer: Very few.

It takes guts to go amongst a group of people and mention things they don't want to hear. It takes guts to draw people to the fact that race and racial differences are stupid.

Since the civil rights movement, how much has really changed? Has racism disappeared? Have black women's values been raised amongst societies, especially within black American culture? Not when you see Lil Kim, Beyonce and the like promoting and profiteering from the 'black woman sexual animal' stereotypes. Not when the images that young people of any race see are of black hip-hop artists 'bitching down' black women and flaunting the proceeds through 'bling'. These images are pumped into their brains on a daily basis.

Attacking me for raising my hand and saying 'hang on a minute' or 'what's the big deal?' isn't the answer. The answer lies within us. If you have children you have a responsibility to think about the kind of the world you want to raise them in.

Maybe you should consider how polarised your own life is. How do you talk about other people? Do you have friends who are a natural normal part of your life who happen to be of another 'race'? Do you have people who happen to be gay or bisexual in your life - or have you dismissed them because of some biblical text telling you 'it's against God's law'? Honestly ask yourself the question: Am I sheep? An open mind is just that - open.

Your children weren't/aren't born stupid - they may become that way by adults pushing them away from critical reasoning - away from analysing situations and reaching logical conclusions and also relating to people as people. They are a product of you.

Living your life by example is a good start. The great thing is you don't have to agree with me for me to have a dialogue with you. You don't have to agree with me for you to be my dearest friend. In fact, some of my friends are hardcore theists and I love them regardless. I see and understand their experiences and we share our views without heat and anger. Maybe you could try some of that today and tomorrow.