I'll wash up and think, have a bath and think - I'm writing this now at after midnight in the UK and I really need to go to bed, having woken up at 6am I need my sleep.
The last few weeks have been great though. My procrastinating ways have been placed firmly in the past. I have a passion and it is to make this seed of an idea grow into something worthwhile.
I did take time out over the weekend to attend a wedding in the country - a lovely wedding, the groom is one of the nicest people I know and his new wife seems equally lovely. The celebration was marred a little by the sexual innuendos and unwelcome hands on my body (read: molestation) by 2 very sad brothers. You know the type: still live at home with elderly parents, no discernible means of income and completely distraught that they have done so little with their lives. Unwashed (reeked) and orange-brown teeth. And because no money, hung around people poncing the next glass of their favourite tipple.
I'm not a violent person but it did cross my mind to give each of these morons a sharp left hook but then I had images of the wedding being spoiled, the police officers (who had seen maybe 4 'people of colour' in their whole lives) dragging this black woman in handcuffs and me locked up thinking how to explain it to the white judge in the morning - with the moron brothers in intensive care on drips.
No, not a good idea.
Yet I felt violated and weak. I failed to deal with the situation. I spent over 5 hours in their company and it was a nightmare. They used their drunkenness as a mask for their inadequacies and I didn't deal with it well. I left the wedding early saying I would be back and retreated to a safe haven.
I raced back to London away from the stale beer, 'eejats' and sheep and threw myself onto my nice clean comfortable bed, ecstatic to be home and then I had a long hot bubble bath and got back to business.
Wow, I never intended to share all that with you! Just to tell you that I'm recovering and focusing on my business.
It is exciting and challenging and I feel great having to wrack my brains again. More people should try it...